


Honesty Is The Best Medicine

by 7SabSantos53



Category: Riverdale (TV 2017)
Genre: #bughead, F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-07-07
Updated: 2020-07-07
Packaged: 2021-03-05 06:14:47
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,556
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25129876
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/7SabSantos53/pseuds/7SabSantos53
Summary: Jug, there's something you need to know, and that you won't like. I made a mistake. A serious one, and I have no idea how to tell you this, but I need to do it.OrBetty knows that she cannot continue to lie to Jug, and she fears the consequences of telling the truth.
Relationships: Betty Cooper & Jughead Jones, Betty Cooper/Jughead Jones
Comments: 2
Kudos: 18





	Honesty Is The Best Medicine

**Author's Note:**

> Someone stop my mind before I make more fanfics for Bughead after 4x17 than the number of episodes that exist in Riverdale.
> 
> Also, there is one of my readers who asked me for a fanfiction where Betty fought not only for Jug, but also for V. Just like Archie fighting for V's love and Jug's friendship. And I told this reader that the next fanfic that I posted might be like that, so I'm sorry for not being. Initially my idea was to make this fanfic for Bughead and Beronica, Jarchie would stay for a next fanfic, but I ended up being unable to reconcile what I planned for the B&V meeting with the one I planned for Bughead without getting too big, so the idea for B&V will end up being developed later. And this fanfic here ended up just being Bughead. 
> 
> Also, I tried for the first time to write in the first person, tell me what you guys think of this format. 
> 
> And as I have said a few times, English is not my first language. So if there is any mistake, forgive me for it and let me know if possible, so that I can correct it. 
> 
> I hope you enjoy reading.

— And when we finished college?

— Just the fact that we're leaving this town seems so unreal that I almost can't think of an 'after'."

I smiled when he said that, it seemed really unreal that our high school graduation will be this week, I was so anxious to get out of this bad little town, but something was making me feel bad, and as much as I knew what it was, I tried to ignore it and pretend it wasn't, but it was getting harder and harder. I love Jug. With all my heart, he is my only certainty, he always has been, in fact. We have both traveled some tortuous paths over the years, and God knows we have been through the greatest craziness, but he has always been my certainty. My safe haven, my happy place. Even when we split up, I wanted to believe that we could be together again. The first time, I needed to believe that, because I don't know if I could be strong enough to break up with him if I didn't believe it. Although today I look back and feel like I should have just been sincere and we would have worked it out. The second time, I initially thought he would never come back to me, it was so painful. Then when we got close again when he came back to Riverdale High, I wanted to hope that could happen. I know today that he also regrets not being honest with me. He told me that several times, that if he could go back in time, he would have simply told me what was going on. He also said that he was ashamed to assume that he needed to protect me of his life. Sometimes I found myself thinking: if I had been sincere the first time, would he have been too? And that’s what destroys me inside now. Along with uncertainty, of course.

— What's up babe? You seem to be thinking far away. — I hear him asking me. We have been sitting on our bed for hours, talking about our future. We talked about college, about our distance relationship (which I hate to remember it will be like this) I wanted to be talking about our plans for after college, and I know that’s what he wanted to be doing too, even if he jokes that he doesn’t know what we’re going to do with life then. Instead, I feel more and more hypocritical about allowing us to dream about a future without being honest with him now, in the present. 

— Nothing, Jug. I was just thinking about how we faced so much together. — That's exactly the problem, actually. We went through hell together. We both make mistakes, some small, some big, and we always move on, but I really can't see him forgiving me this time. Would he trust me again? What would I need to do to achieve this? Because I would do anything, anything, to not lose him. How could I take it? His is my partner, my love and happiness. Which only makes me even more stupid for cheating on him. Ugh, I hate to even think about the word, how could I do that to him? I feel his hands on my chin and right after that he is kissing me. As soon as he left, too soon in my opinion, I heard him say:

— And we’ll spend a lot more, Betty. There is no way to avoid this. But I can handle anything, as long as I have you, and know that you also chose to face everything by my side gives me motivation to face the world if necessary, because I always know that I am not doing just for me, it is for us, and for all the happiness that we will still have. We gonna make this work, I know we will. Not being able to wake up every day by your side is probably going to be the worst thing I've ever done to myself, but those years will pass, and we'll make up for every second spent away. — And then he kissed me again but I moved away this time, I couldn't continue that, he needed to know. 

— Jug, there's something you need to know, and that you won't like. I made a mistake. A serious one, and I have no idea how to tell you this, but I need to do it. — I realized that he was startled by the sudden change in the tone of our conversation, at one point we were making plans for the future and now I'm sure he sees my uncertainty about our present on my face. 

— What happened? — He asked cautiously. He seemed to be afraid of the answer, honestly, it scares me too. 

— The day we discussed in the bunker, I kissed someone else. In fact... I went to the band's rehearsal without knowing it had been canceled, and only Archie was there. And we kiss. 

— What? — Unlike what I had thought, there was no anger. In fact, his voice was so low that I hardly heard him. There was only sadness and disappointment there, and I hate myself for being the culprit.

— Jug, I never regret something as much as I regret it. I'm really, really sorry, I can't tell you how much. I need you to know that I want to be with you, and that it was a ridiculous mistake, I wish I could go back in time and not do that. 

— And why did you, Betty? 

— I… I don…

– Do you still have feelings for him? Are you confused? 

— No! 

— It won't help you to keep lying to me Betty, just tell the truth that I deal with it. — It was the first time I heard anger in his voice, and I knew before that that I needed to be honest about everything. 

— I'll tell you everything, do you really want to hear it, Jug?

— Wow, it must be worse than I thought then, but talk. 

— Okay. That day, I was very scared. I almost lost you several times over the years, and I was terrified that you wouldn't be able to get out of here and I would really lose you. When I went to rehearsal, the only thing that was going on in my head was that all these changes were going to end up being our end. It scared me, I didn't want to think like that, but I was. We started singing the song we had chosen and suddenly I started to remember how much simpler life was before, and in those memories, Archie was there. It made me miss a time when our concerns were limited to what activities to do at school and things like that. When I saw it it was already happening, Jug. Then I started to feel confused, I started reading my old diaries with memories with Archie and it messed up my mind. He and I met two more times just the two of us but it didn't happen again, I swear. We just talked. And... well, once he took my hand and I couldn't get away, but that was it. Before we met the second time, a friend saw how I was doing and she reminded me and helped me understand that this was all a fantasy in my mind. And she was right, Jug. I'm not going to lie, there was a time in my life when I wanted this, and that's what made things complicated. But I don't want this anymore. I haven't wanted this for a long time, it's you that I want. I screwed up really bad, I screwed up, I know. And I regret it so much, I think I can't say how much I regret it. 

– Why didn't you tell me when it happened? Why have you been lying to me all this time? 

— I was too scared to hurt you, Jug. 

— Lie. If you had thought about how much it would hurt me, you wouldn't have betrayed me, so don't try to convince me that at some point you thought of me, it won't help you either. 

Hearing him say this is hurting me so much, the worst is that I deserve all of it. I just wanted him to believe that I have no doubts about wanting him. Wanting to spend my whole life with him. 

— Plea…

— Do you know what it looks like to me, Betty? That you didn't tell me to keep your options open while you were 'confused'. You already knew that if you told me you would have to decide at that time whether you would stay with me or him, so instead of doing that you kept it for yourself. — I can't answer. I can't even think when I heard that. All of this is hurting so much that I can only cry. I don't even know when I started, I just know that I can't stop anymore. But right after that, I notice that Jug misinterprets my silence when he gets up.

— I knew it.

— No, wait. — I get up too and force myself to start talking. — That's not it, Jug, I was scared, but I didn't want to leave you. 

— And I'm sure of that how? Oh, yes. After lying to me for weeks you certainly wouldn't do that now, of course. — The sarcasm in his voice hurts even more than the anger. — Even more if we add the fact that a few weeks ago you said that I am the only one for you and then you proved it when you kissed someone else. 

— Forgive me. Please forgive me. I know I made a mistake. And I'm sorry for trying to justify that, there's no justification, it was just wrong. But I would never leave you, Jug, seriously.

— I'm sorry to think that it's very difficult to believe that now, Betty.

— It's the truth, I chose you, I chose not to leave you. — Before I know it, I already said something that will make him ask many questions, for sure. 

— Did you choose not to leave me? What are you saying? Did you really keep the options then? 

— That was not it. The second time Archie and I met, he wanted us to try... I don't know what, to be honest, but he didn't seem to want to give up what we had done. I don't know what he wanted Jug, I just know he was upset that I didn't want to continue. And I didn't want to, NEVER wanted to, because I didn't need to, I love you and I want to be with you. — Okay, now besides being a bad girlfriend, I’m a bad friend, because I don’t know what happened in Archie’s mind to thinking about continuing, but I shouldn’t hand him over without him being here to say what was going on.

— That bastard. I don't know why I'm surprised, he always left me aside to get what he wanted anyway. I didn't think he respected me enough to not try anything if he started to like you, I think that in his mind any woman leaves everything to be with him. But I thought that at least Veronica he respected. 

— Jug, please, you know that I love you, right? I regret it so much that I can't even tell you. Not telling you about the kiss was also very wrong. In fact, everything I did in those days was wrong. I don't know what I need to do to prove that I regret it, but I do everything and…

— There's nothing you can do now. — That was what scared me. He doesn't want to be with me anymore. Goodbye all the plans we made. Goodbye all we live. I did the only thing that has no forgiveness for him. 

— You mean... Is it over? 

— It means I need to think. If I stay here listening to you it will be very easy to give in. This is not just a normal argument that one of us gives up what wants to make the other happy, Betty. I need time. 

— How much... How long? — It scares me to ask that, I'm afraid it will mean years and then he will forget me and give up on us. I see that he is already looking for some of his things and getting ready to leave.

— I dont know. — It's the last thing he says to me before walking through the door and leaving me crying for hours after that. 

  
  
  
  


Days go by automatically. I wake up, or sometimes I can't even sleep. Sometimes I force myself to eat something, sometimes I don't have the strength to do it. When Jug left home, I don't know where he went, but he's already back. I mean, he's not sleeping here, but I see him around the house sometimes. My mom and FP noticed that we had an ugly fight, but I don't think they know exactly what happened. I think if they knew they would be hating me, and they don't seem to feel that way. I heard that Jug and Archie argued. When Jug left the house, he found Archie on the street, and he asked Jug if he was okay. When Jug didn't respond, Archie went to him and it seems that all Jug said was that Archie was the worst friend and one of the worst people he met. I think Archie realized right away that I had told Jug everything and wanted to come home, which made it worse. Jug told him that he was not my owner and that Archie could talk to me whenever he wanted, but that the house was also his and he was not allowing Archie to disrespect him here. And then he said that if he heard that Archie had come here, people would not find his body. When Archie tried to hold Jug, it looks like he just punched him and left. Or that was the version that Archie texted me after calling me several times and I didn't answer. After that message, I returned to Archie and said that I couldn't be close to him anymore. With that kiss, we ruined our friendship too. If Jug ever forgives me, he won't tell me to walk away from Archie, but I know he would be suspicious every time he saw me with him. I do not want it. Honestly, I realized that Archie and I weren't even really friends anymore. I realized that I don't know him anymore, just as he doesn't know anything about me. I realized that whenever we think of each other, it's the version we were years ago. I don't like that version anymore, and I don't know his new version just like he doesn't know mine. I think that deep down, our friendship was ended a long ago. The loss of someone who was once my best friend should hurt more, but it doesn't hurt, which proves to me that we really weren't friends anymore. Jug has spoken to me very little since he left home. One of the times was to say that if Archie or I didn't tell Veronica right away, he would do it. It was painful to hear him say that he would do that because he wouldn't cheat someone important to him like we were doing. I haven't talked to V yet, I'm waiting for Archie to tell her, but I don't know if he did it or not. I'm thinking a lot about our graduation today, maybe it would be better to tell today if she doesn't already know. I'm also wondering if Jug is going to graduate. I can't take that away from him, I wouldn't go just for him to go if he didn't want to see me. The other few times he spoke to me, they were brief and just for education and this is killing me. It seems to me a sample of what it would be like if he really broke up with me. I want to hope that it won't happen, if I don't keep that hope, I don't know if I am strong for all the changes that we will have. Going to college and getting away from my boyfriend would be awful already, but I would still talk to him and do my best to see him when I could. But leaving Riverdale if he breaks up with me, knowing he won't forgive me, is going to be unbearable, I'm not strong for that. To make matters worse, I keep thinking about V, I can't believe I did this to my best friend. Just thinking that I'm going to have to face her today, I keep wanting to give up graduation, in fact, it makes me want to never leave the room because of shame. When the door of our house opens, the sight couldn't surprise me anymore: Jug is dressed for graduation and looking at me. He seems very uncomfortable when asking if we can leave now. 

  
  
  
  


Graduation couldn't have been worse. Archie did a stupid thing with that song. V found everything. I tried desperately to talk to her, to apologize, she doesn't want to hear me. I think she broke up with Archie. The only thing she said to me was that I had been very selfish, I couldn't even disagree, she is right. That is, I lost my best friend too. I lost three people that I love because of a nostalgia for the moment, I was really stupid. Jug didn't come home with me, he said he would talk to me later, I don't know where he is. But FP doesn't seem concerned, so I believe he knows, that's all that reassures me. I was so hopeful when Jug came home to go with me to graduation, but after that, he didn't even come home yet. I don't know what to believe. I want to believe that we will talk and maybe he can forgive me, but with each passing day it seems so difficult. It's late, and I haven't heard from him, everyone at home has already gone to sleep. I can't do the same, I'm waiting for him to show up here in our room. I hardly believe it when he really opens the door, my heart leaps with joy. 

— Sorry, I didn't mean to wake you up. — He seems distant when he says that. 

— It's okay Jug, I was already awake. How ar... Are you okay? 

— I am fine. I was with Veronica, I had to find her first, so it took me longer. Why didn't you just tell her Betty? Gee, today should have been a happy day for her. She shouldn't have known that way. 

— I... I know, I should have told her. I kept putting off the responsibility, telling myself that I had to let Archie tell her, it was wrong. I should have just spoken. 

— Yeah, you really should. 

— How is she? — I can hear his ironic laugh.

— What do you think? She is devastated. Jumping for joy of course she wouldn't be. — Will you... Will you stay? — There is no point in continuing to talk about V, he will be even more upset with me remembering how selfish I was. 

— We can talk now? Although I don't want to talk without being able to see you in that dark room. 

— Okay, we can go somewhere else, anywhere, let's talk, please. — I don't mind looking desperate, I really am, and I want him to know. I need him to know that there have been horrible days without him. 

— Great, let's get out of here. 

  
  
  
  


— Is there anything else you want to tell me about all of this? — I keep thinking about what else I can say. I already told him everything that happened. Drag me begging for forgiveness? I would do it without thinking twice if I had to. But I have no idea what he wants now. And I don't think that's it.

— I don't know, Jug. I definitely want to make it clear that I regret it very much. And that this week was horrible, I missed you a lot. Really missed you. 

— Right. I spent this whole week trying to find a reason for what you did, Betty. I know that people tried to convince you of both extremes: that you were perfect or that you were bad. I see you for real, you are neither. First, expecting perfection is absurd, we all make mistakes. I don't even think you're the 'good girl', that's also stupid, since people's definition of 'good' is sometimes just an excuse to accuse others of not being perfect, which nobody is. But you are not bad, you are incredible, I always saw you like this. Sometimes you did bad things and blamed yourself, but I always saw that even the things you shouldn't have done, you had a reason for. For example: when you blamed yourself for what you did to Chuck in the bathtub. Honestly? He humiliated your best friend and participated in something that hurt your sister. If someone did that to mine, I probably would have done a lot worse. Maybe I wouldn't because she would be faster than me and would have done something worse before I could. When you broke up with me, it hurt me, but you were really trying to protect me. I could name so much that happened, even the most wrong things you did and for which you blamed yourself most, I always found a reason that led you to act in a certain way. So I was trying to find something that would give me a reason for what you did, I didn't find it. From everything I saw you do, I think cheating on me was still the most selfish thing you ever did, because I didn't give you any reason. I know I was wrong too, and I shouldn't have lied to you. But we've been through a lot worse things, Betty, so honestly, I still don't think I gave you any reason to treat me like that. 

— You're right, Jug, it was wrong, I'm sorry to try to justify, you're the best person in my life, I was stupid. You do not deserve it. 

— Why did you do that, Betty? Really, tell me what made you do this, I need to know.

— I had no reason to do it, Jug. It was nostalgia for the moment and it was wrong, nothing justifies it, but I really regret it, really. 

— Okay. And why did you meet him alone after that? Ugh, I hate to ask that, I feel extremely possessive. You can meet anyone you want. 

— I think you have every right, after what happened. Honestly, I don't know either. It was the kiss that left me confused, because it reminded me of how things were before. I kept telling myself that this time with him would clear my mind. 

— And that happened? 

— I don't believe it happened. I always knew the answer, I don't understand why I had to be reminded that a part of me liked Archie years ago for fantasizing about what we could have been. But what I wanted at that time was a lie, I already knew that, I think I forgot for a moment, but I always knew. 

— And why didn't you tell me when you realized all this? 

— I think I was too scared. A part of me kept telling me that you would never forgive me for it, and I didn't want to lose you, so I kept putting it off more and more. But I couldn't take it anymore. We were making plans and dreaming about our future. A future that is all I want Jug, so it seemed more and more unfair not to tell you. 

— Okay, I need you to be very honest with me now Betty: Can you imagine yourself with someone else? Do you want to explore someone new? Want to try someone else? — I never stopped to think about it, but even so, I already know the answer to all the questions.

— No. No. And no, again. I don't want anyone, I want you. 

— Are you sure? 

— Do YOU want to try with someone else? 

— No. When we broke up we did it only once. I felt terrible afterwards, it was like momentarily anesthetizing my pain of being without you. That was what anybody but you would be to me. I've never been concerned with relationships before you, Betty. For me it's you and it always will be. But I understand if you are not so sure. So I ask again: don't you really want to meet someone else? Because for me, you and me are serious. It's for life. But as much as I love you, I can't be with you if you don't feel that way.

— I had several samples of what life is like without you, I hated them all. 

— But you never had anyone else with you, to be sure of that.

— I never needed. And I never will. I have already met the person I want to spend my entire life with. — I'm serious, for me it's Jug or nobody else. I hope he realizes that. It's him.

— I don't want to break up, Betty. But I need to be honest with you, continuing this relationship will also hurt in the beginning. It already hurts for me. But I know it would hurt more to be without you. So I believe it will take time to have what we had before.

— I understand that Jug, I accept that. And I believe in us. I believe we managed to get through this. — My heart feels like it's going to come out of my mouth. I know he can see how I'm trying to control my excitement. But I can't help it. Is he really saying he can forgive me? 

— I have a proposal. We have little time before college, I don't want to be away from you before I'm forced to stay away from you, I want to spend each day by your side. But I think we need to go slow. Day after day we will rebuild what we had and become stronger. Also, I think we both need help, we've been in too much trouble here, and I want us both to seek that help. And I also believe that we managed to get through this. What do you tell me about keeping things that way for now? We will take care of the two of us individually as well, because we have not done this, so that we will gradually be better together. 

— I say yes. For sure. Please, I beg you to be so. I just want us to be okay Jug, that's all. — We spent a while in silence smiling at each other and I can hardly believe how lucky I am. My boyfriend is really the best person in the world. — Can I kiss my boyfriend now? Because I really missed him. 

— Please do it. — And for me, as simple as that, everything is fine with the world again. 

**Author's Note:**

> I hope you enjoyed that, knowing what you think of the story always makes me happy, so your opinion is always very welcome.  
> I hope you are all well, take care of yourself. ❤️


End file.
